About me

First off, let me say I am no writer. I don't speak elequently nor do I write that way. I am going to try my hardest to make sense and not bounce around too much. Run un sentences will probably occur, but I will try to keep it to a minimum. I am Jean-Marie. Born and raised in southeren California. I love it here, minus the earthquakes. The weather is gorgeous, the scenery is amazing and you can drive pretty much an hour in any direction and be in the desert, mountains or beach. It is truely amazing. I have 4 kids. My oldest is about to turn 7, then I have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old (on Monday) and maybe baby girl who is 8 months. I am married nearly 11 yrs next month. Life isn't perfect, but it aint half bad either. Ok, so to get to my whole point of my blog. Psoriasis. As far as a diease or illness goes, it really isn't too bad. It isn't going to end my life prematerualy. I don't get sick from it. It doesn't keep me from doing things I love like working out, playing with my kids, taking a run. So I really shouldn't complain. But I do, because I am human and I HATE looking like a leper. And when you live in a place like California where skin is always in, it is hard to not be self conscience. I broke out in guttate psoriasis 2 times growing up, once around 7 or 8 and then other time around 14. Both times after having contracted Strep Throat and both times it cleared up after almost a year. Then, when I was about 18 or 19 I started breaking out on the lower portions of my legs, mostly my calf area. A bit on my knees and elbows, but nothing too bad. I didn't like it. Sometimes I had the attitude of, "I don't care! Look, stare! I will wear shorts!" Other times I would cover up and hide despite the 90-100 degree weather. Well, after the birth of my 4th child, around the time she was 3-4 months old it started to spread, now I am covered in it. Just like when I was a child. Sitting here now as I type my stomach is itching and burning from the rash. Again, complaining feels silly as I know people right NOW how are being treated for cancer, have lost limbs, are going under go heart surgery. So, here is what I am going to attempt to do. Try my hardest to not complain, be grateful for what I have and find out what I can do to try to keep it under control. I have no idea if anyone will read this or not. And that is really ok. I need somewhere to vent, to just let go. This is here to be account of my journey as I refuse to hide. Though I want to desperately avoid the stares and whispers, I need to remember I have 4 kids who could end up with this as well. Most people have an affliction they can hide, that no one knows or can see. I don't. It is very obvious. I will get a handle on this and I will figure out what helps and hopefully be able to help and encourage others. My psoriasis could be worse and it seems to be trying to be get worse. Somehow I will find a way to not let it. Step #1 - detox I am starting a detox that will last 10 days, today is day 1. I don't know if it will help or not but desperate times... I took before pictures yesterday of myself, I will put them up at somepoint, just not yet. Well. There ya have it.