Detox Done & NEW purchase!

Well. My 10 day detox is offically over. And my psoriasis looks exactly as it did 10 days ago. I can't say that I am all that surprised, however it does feel good to know that I have eaten well the last 10 days. Hopefully the detox helped break me off some bad habits. I was hoping for some change, but I really wasn't expecting much. I still hold firm that diet is connected somehow to psoriasis. Now onto the NEW PURCHASE! We bought a Vitamix! I have wanted one for a while now! This is going to help so much in trying to eat better and get more leafy greens in my diet. I may even be able to sneak some more veggies into my kids diet. I decided a few days ago to try a glycerin & witch hazel mixture on my psoriasis. I don't know if it will help me, but it won't hurt to try. I feel like I grasping at straws trying to find something that will help me. My brain just isn't here tonight, I think I will just have to post again another night. :)

half way there

Well, more a little more then half way there anyway. I have done 6 days of my 10 day detox. It has been tough today as it was Memorial Day and we went to 2 BBQ's and I couldn't eat anything there. I don't notice any changes in my psoriasis or my weight. Was hoping to drop a few pounds, but that has yet to happen. Oh well. It does feel good to being eating foods that are good for me and not injesting so much sugar and junk which I have been lately. I am not in a happy place at the moment. Just looking at myself in the mirrow, I want to cry. Why do I have to look like this? Is what I am trying going to do any good? Am I just spinning my wheels? Grasping at straws? I so desperately want to try to have clear skin, to not itch or burn. Every month it gets worse and worse. I apprecaite people wanting to help me, but often there offers of help are just silliness. They try to tell me how they know a guy and he tried something and it cleared it up. Or think they are referring to psoriasis in a story but it is really another skin condition which is not like what I have at all. Or they talk to me and say things like, "oh, you know that can be triggered by stress." REALLY??? Do you think that I haven't read and researched backwards and forwards into the late evenings trying to find out whatever I can to try to help my skin! I know people are just trying to help, but I didn't ask you and you really don't know what you are talking about. Wow. I am just not handling this all well tonight. But that is what it is sometimes. Some days I am strong and don't care, othesr I feel like ripping out my hair and never leaving my bed and just stop trying. But I wont stop. Not now and probably not for a long time. There has to be something I can do.

About me

First off, let me say I am no writer. I don't speak elequently nor do I write that way. I am going to try my hardest to make sense and not bounce around too much. Run un sentences will probably occur, but I will try to keep it to a minimum. I am Jean-Marie. Born and raised in southeren California. I love it here, minus the earthquakes. The weather is gorgeous, the scenery is amazing and you can drive pretty much an hour in any direction and be in the desert, mountains or beach. It is truely amazing. I have 4 kids. My oldest is about to turn 7, then I have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old (on Monday) and maybe baby girl who is 8 months. I am married nearly 11 yrs next month. Life isn't perfect, but it aint half bad either. Ok, so to get to my whole point of my blog. Psoriasis. As far as a diease or illness goes, it really isn't too bad. It isn't going to end my life prematerualy. I don't get sick from it. It doesn't keep me from doing things I love like working out, playing with my kids, taking a run. So I really shouldn't complain. But I do, because I am human and I HATE looking like a leper. And when you live in a place like California where skin is always in, it is hard to not be self conscience. I broke out in guttate psoriasis 2 times growing up, once around 7 or 8 and then other time around 14. Both times after having contracted Strep Throat and both times it cleared up after almost a year. Then, when I was about 18 or 19 I started breaking out on the lower portions of my legs, mostly my calf area. A bit on my knees and elbows, but nothing too bad. I didn't like it. Sometimes I had the attitude of, "I don't care! Look, stare! I will wear shorts!" Other times I would cover up and hide despite the 90-100 degree weather. Well, after the birth of my 4th child, around the time she was 3-4 months old it started to spread, now I am covered in it. Just like when I was a child. Sitting here now as I type my stomach is itching and burning from the rash. Again, complaining feels silly as I know people right NOW how are being treated for cancer, have lost limbs, are going under go heart surgery. So, here is what I am going to attempt to do. Try my hardest to not complain, be grateful for what I have and find out what I can do to try to keep it under control. I have no idea if anyone will read this or not. And that is really ok. I need somewhere to vent, to just let go. This is here to be account of my journey as I refuse to hide. Though I want to desperately avoid the stares and whispers, I need to remember I have 4 kids who could end up with this as well. Most people have an affliction they can hide, that no one knows or can see. I don't. It is very obvious. I will get a handle on this and I will figure out what helps and hopefully be able to help and encourage others. My psoriasis could be worse and it seems to be trying to be get worse. Somehow I will find a way to not let it. Step #1 - detox I am starting a detox that will last 10 days, today is day 1. I don't know if it will help or not but desperate times... I took before pictures yesterday of myself, I will put them up at somepoint, just not yet. Well. There ya have it.